discussing romantic feelings for past lovers

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about feelings we have for old boyfriends and it got me thinking about what complex things our hearts are. I don't have any romantic feelings for my old boyfriends because all my feelings are being poured into loving Mike. But before I loved Mike I went through a major turning point concerning old feelings for past lovers.

Mike and I met on June 20th, 2014. We spent five consecutive every day together after that. On the sixth day I was asked by an old boyfriend to meet up and talk about how things ended between us. I agreed and all of my past feelings for him rushed back into my heart and head, making me very confused and wary. I knew this past relationship was good(not great) and we could maybe get things back to where they were(comfort zone). This past relationship had been a big one and there were lots of real feelings involved. I had no idea if things would progress with Mike because I had just met him, he was leaving to live in California and I was staying in Utah. It seemed like the logical choice to get back together and try to work things out.

But.....

Long story short I knew that I was emotionally done with the past relationship before we even met up. I felt bad the entire time because I could've been hanging out with Mike the whole time. That was a huge indicator of who I wanted to spend my time with. Because of how torn I felt being away from Mike, I knew that he was more than a crush or summer fling. It was good to have closure with this past boyfriend but I just couldn't open my heart up to him again because it was already hooked on Mike.

In the end, I closed the door on that past relationship for good and was able to excitedly open the new door that led me to falling in love with Mike. The key thing was I had no regrets. I knew what I wanted and that was Mike, whether or not we fell in love or even dated or even kissed (yeah we hadn't even kissed yet...we really just knew the moment we saw each other) He was the one I wanted to be with and I'm so glad we actually did get to kiss, date and fall in love.