Provo City Center Temple

Sarah and I went to the Provo City Center Temple on Wednesday in the morning and wow I was so distracted the rest of the day haha. I couldn't stop thinking about all the themes in the temple details and the thoughts I had walking through it. Well, mostly I just thought about Mike. It struck me really hard (for like the 5 billionth time) that we are so totally married for eternity. 

We made a vow to be there for each other forever--and we made that crazy intense vow after only one year of dating! I can totally see how getting married so fast can be viewed as a drastic, scary and spontaneous decision. And yeah, sure to the outside world, Mormon marriage culture is totally irrational because people meet, date and then two months later get hitched! But sometimes I think that's just the most amazing thing. There is time to learn what each other are like, but there is also time to let that person grow, progress and see how that person changes for the better--because you're together. It's really important to give your lover the benefit of the doubt most the time--unless they're crazy and you should leave them--don't over analyze every single emotion or mishap that happens in your relationship because that confuses and complicates everything.

I remember at one point (before Mike and I were engaged) I was stressing about marriage because sure I LOVED this guy but like how could I know that we would be happy the rest of our lives???? I asked my Mom how she knew that my Dad would be a good dad or great husband or calm in stressful situations when life got crazy etc. She laughed and told me she didn't know all that for sure..... but she knew he was a good person and that was enough. It was a total "aha" moment that I felt dumb for not seeing before. I realized I really only need to know 2 basic things from Mike to get our relationship to progress: is he a worthy temple recommend holder and does he love me? And vice versa too--we're in this together and that means effort on both sides. I immediately stopped worrying about future situations that hadn't even happened yet and focused on what kind of man Mike was right then. And it worked! We're totally married and progressing together.

Good Food = Love

So I just made this for Mike and I and wow you guys this formula is so true: Good food = love points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like we just finished it as an appetizer and HOLY COW I'M STILL DROOLING IT WAS SO JUICY AND AMAZING PINTEREST RECIPE FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

discussing romantic feelings for past lovers

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about feelings we have for old boyfriends and it got me thinking about what complex things our hearts are. I don't have any romantic feelings for my old boyfriends because all my feelings are being poured into loving Mike. But before I loved Mike I went through a major turning point concerning old feelings for past lovers.

Mike and I met on June 20th, 2014. We spent five consecutive every day together after that. On the sixth day I was asked by an old boyfriend to meet up and talk about how things ended between us. I agreed and all of my past feelings for him rushed back into my heart and head, making me very confused and wary. I knew this past relationship was good(not great) and we could maybe get things back to where they were(comfort zone). This past relationship had been a big one and there were lots of real feelings involved. I had no idea if things would progress with Mike because I had just met him, he was leaving to live in California and I was staying in Utah. It seemed like the logical choice to get back together and try to work things out.

But.....

Long story short I knew that I was emotionally done with the past relationship before we even met up. I felt bad the entire time because I could've been hanging out with Mike the whole time. That was a huge indicator of who I wanted to spend my time with. Because of how torn I felt being away from Mike, I knew that he was more than a crush or summer fling. It was good to have closure with this past boyfriend but I just couldn't open my heart up to him again because it was already hooked on Mike.

In the end, I closed the door on that past relationship for good and was able to excitedly open the new door that led me to falling in love with Mike. The key thing was I had no regrets. I knew what I wanted and that was Mike, whether or not we fell in love or even dated or even kissed (yeah we hadn't even kissed yet...we really just knew the moment we saw each other) He was the one I wanted to be with and I'm so glad we actually did get to kiss, date and fall in love.