when two become one

Marriage is such an intense thing once you think about it. Like you are literally connecting your entire life to someone else's. All of your baggage gets added onto their baggage and you become this huge mesh of human mistakes, hopes, dreams and flaws.

anyway so here we are.
This post is an excerpt from my journal:

Mike is gone and off in Utah without me. He flew out this morning at 6AM--I dropped him off and instantly felt the familiar empty ache explode inside of me. I fly out tomorrow morning and so we will only have been apart for like 27 hours. But still, I'm missing him.

I talked with my mom for an hour about how much we love our loves. I'm so grateful for my parent's amazing relationship and the example that they've set for me--um, but actually because of that the bar was set WAY high and I was nervous about finding a guy with whom I could have this magical, totally stoked all the time vivacious love with--BUT PRAISE HEAVENS I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that man. Mike is my man. We're about to become man and wife. What a thought. Really though when I think about becoming someone's wife for all of my entire life and eternity--it really freaks me out. I don't feel scared or nervous that it is the wrong decision, I just feel overwhelmed with how massive this decision is.

We are willingly committing to connecting our lives together under the law and under the eyes of God. I look down at my rings that Mike has given me and feel this wonderful wave of comfort and security wash over me. These rings represent a promise that Mike has made to me already--to marry me--and because I wear them I am making a promise to marry him as well.

It is so astounding to me that we are doing this!! We are so young and unwise yet feel totally comfortable about getting married. It's awesome. Mike is so great for me, he totally adores me and loves me--but he doesn't coddle or pamper me. He pushes and challenges me to become the very best version of myself. Like he literally motivates me to become self motivated hahaha it's awesome. He's real big on self reliance which I totally am too but just not sometimes. He makes me feel so loved and desired. I know that no matter how annoyed, tired or grumpy we are--he is there for me and I'm there for him.

I'm excited to go to the temple to be sealed to the love of my life for eternity! He is going to make my life so much better, and I his. I'm feeling very calm and ready to be wife and husband. There are so many things to do--like massive list of wedding stuff-- while we are in utah for the next 11 days before the wedding festivites begin! I think I should be pretty stressed out buuuuut in the end Mike and I are getting married and nothing else matters.

We are so in love. Wow, I'm so excited.