why write?.....

why am I writing?

well...

it's been a week since my 22 year old sister Sarah Kay was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma cancer. over the weekend our family had a little chat.

with our family being on the other side of the continent, it makes sense to have a space dedicated to sharing tidbits of our lives with them.
so during our chat my mom announced she is going to start to write, sarah kay announced she is going to start to write.....and I agreed to maybe think about writing....

I was hesitant.
more than hesitant actually.

I don't feel as though I have ever classified myself as a writer. I've always been the dancer, the artist, the family clown. never the 'writer'. also, blogs are so personal in my opinion. it is literally the recording of your very own feelings for the entire internet to read, analyze and judge.

but once I began transforming my feelings into words, I instantly would feel better. this really is therapeutic. when aaaall my feeling are suddenly are right there in font size 12-- I feel like a small heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders and placed onto the page. 

I didn't realize how much I had to say either.
I have all of this anger, heartbreak, frustration, sadness, gratitude and scary unknown thoughts stuck inside of me. writing helps me to let them go one by one.

When Sarah was diagnosed last monday, I felt strongly that I needed to document this struggle while it's happening. I need to chronicle these events and fill a space full of photos, videos, Beyoncé gifs, grumpy cat memes, emotional stories and what gets us through the hard times. I'm someday going to share all of this with my children and grandchildren so where better to keep this information than the internet?

so in a nutshell, that's what this blog is all about.

a collection of my thoughts and experiences pertaining to my life at the current moment. and currently I'm struggling with this cancer thing. seeing my sister have to go through this emotional roller-coaster is rough.

I don't want Sarah Kay to go through this. I really don't, I want to take care of her and protect her and make her life as easy as possible. and if writing about the ups and downs makes this cancer thing a little easier for us to wrap our heads around, then let's start!