bunny therapy

Holding a baby animal can be wonderful therapy. 

Their tiny heartbeat and the way they snuggle into your arms is absolutely lovely and tender.

they already have Rent a Puppy but what about Rent a baby Bunny? 

Provo plz get on that thanks.

just a jumbled collection of photos

just some shots of my sister Sarah Kay that I've been collecting for my final photography portfolio.

enjoy.

I MISS MY MOM

I loved having mom and Mimi here.

so relaxing and nice.

like really, I didn't want them to leave. 

we cuddled a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot and prayed a lot. 

It was so wonderful to have my Mother here in Utah, smothering me with love and food and care. 

we ran around town shopping and sharing our capsule wardrobe pieces.

we spent all day Saturday journeying to the temple (it took us all day cause we had a pit stop in good old gorgeous Sundance). 

we spent time with dear Brimhall cousins and extended family.

we made to do lists for when they fly out for Christmas.

we had a Harry Potter marathon and ate lots of comfort food. there was lots of laughing, teasing and calling Dad to tell him we missed him.

I love my family so much. 

sometimes, when I really think about it, I realize it's pretty hard to live so far away from them. But I am so grateful for all the wonderful humans who have basically become my family out here in Utah. like really tho, I have SO MANY MOMS! it is so nice to have friends who support me, and care for me and my sister. 

life is precious and can be wasted so easily. 

there really is something to be said about YOLOing*

I'm so very glad for family and friends who are helping us live it up right now.

so now stop reading this and go find someone to hug/kiss/smother with love!

*disclosure statement: I don't entirely agree with the term YOLO because I believe it really should be YOLFESMGC = You Only Live For Eternity So Make Good Choices

BUT

yolo is much more catchy

sisters in zion

isn't that a great blog title? cause both my sisters are here in Utah (zion) hahaha I am so clever. ...............(but actually Zion is wherever you make it so now that I think about it the cleverness behind my title is nullified......)

so anyway, my little sister Mimi is here in Utah for a week! She and my mom flew out to come visit and spend some time with Sarah Kay, Derek and I.

Mimi just got her braces off. every time she smiles the room glows with her radiance. I've realized that she isn't my baby sister anymore, she's growing into such a wonderful woman right before my eyes. It is neat to see how our relationship has changed over the years. We are so much closer now that we are on opposite ends of America. weird how that goes....

anyway, Mimi is 15 and has four girl cousins the same age as her (once they all get to college it is going to be a PARTY for sure)

My mom, Mimi and I took Amanda and Savannah on a little trip to the temple last saturday. we took a detour in Sundance where we snapped some fun photos.

fifty days

fifty days since diagnosis


it's a funny thing when your life changes
it can change with a new job, a new place, a relationship or a loss
sometimes you don't even realize it's changing

but other times, 
everything stops and stands still while your brain waits for you to accept this life changing event


cancer


this tiny, two syllable word changed our lives in one afternoon

there is no guide to handling cancer
there isn't a master guru to consult
each experience is different and unique
it is a personal and individual battle
I can't fight my sister's cancer for her
as much as I wish I could take her pain and put it on my body
she is the least deserving of this
yet has to fight this disease

it is something you cannot control
it takes hold on your body
it infects your cells
you try to push through it
get over it
it's not a big deal

well

this is a big deal

this thing
this disease
it hurts
it kills
it destroys life
it can destroy spirit too
if you let it

so what?
what has gotten us though this struggle so far?
people
family
prayers
blessings
words
hugs
hands
tears
smiles
laughs
lots and lots of laughs

we are positive
we are optimistic even!
we hope for the best
but that certainly doesn't mean that we still don't cry about it
or that it hurts our hearts to see sarah kay in pain
or that we wish it would just go away so she can heal

it is still a struggle
writing all this out helps
the emotions
the hurt
the silver linings
it really does heal
slowly
and sometimes quickly

our lives are changing
and they are not finished changing
there is still so much to conquer
this path is hard and sometimes impossible
but we made it fifty days so far!

so basically we can handle anything
right?

final photography project ideas

just realized that tomorrow will mark the 50th day since my sister Sarah Kay was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma.

can I just say like whoa

TIME FLIES.

hopefully time will fly a little faster cause tomorrow my mama and little sister Mimi fly out to Utah and I'm so excited! It's really hard living so far away from home and my family. But it is also great because every time we get together it is a big deal and we don't waste precious time.

and if there is one thing that I've learned in the past month, it is that time is incredibly precious.

this post is to help me formulate my final photography project. I have so many ideas and experiments and need a place to organize everything.

I want to photograph Sarah Kay but I'm unsure of how the process will go. I'm going to be taking photos of her going through life with cancer. this whole journey is hard to capture on camera and I don't feel experienced enough to create impressive photos (but yolo right??)

k so here are some of the first wave of sk portraits.
enjoy, SHE'S ADORABLE!