positivity positivity positivity

SO in my adult life I have only spent one winter in an area where snow and cold is constant. It was in 2014; I was in school, on a dance team and lived with my best friends! Also it was a super mild winter(blessed!!!) This most recent 2016 winter was only my second experience in the cold and lucky me it was a brutally cold one.

Growing up we always lived near a beach (east coast I miss you) and never got to fully experience sledding, skiing, snowboarding or actual real ice skating. And like I was totally fine with it. But like, yeah sometimes I wished I could be a cute ski bum just like Mary-Kate and Ashley in their Olympic road trip movie. Look how perfectly mis-matched they are, I love it (p.s. I braided my hair just like that and wore uber shiny lip gloss for basically all of 8th grade, thank you twins). 

But in reality I will always choose sunshine over snow. I've never really had good training on how to cope during the cold months. Because of that, this winter was really bad for me. I'm recently married, living an hour from all my friends/family, I shut myself in, felt awful, and basically hibernated until I could see the sun again. Basically, I had S.A.D.=Seasonal Affective Disorder. I had all the symptoms:

• Feel sad, grumpy, moody, or anxious.
• Lose interest in your usual activities.
• Sleep more but still feel tired.
• Have trouble concentrating

It was awful and I didn't realize that I was suffering so badly until I basically broke down in March. There is so much that I can get into but that would take five years. The sadness I felt over those months was so bad that it really started effecting my relationships with friends and family, which was NOT okay with me. So I signed up for dance classes, wrote letters, painted more, did a little bit of retail therapy(wow it seriously boosted my happiness when I bought some happy springtime clothes)(side note: maybe I need to wear more color in the winter...) So anyway, I am feeling so totally happy today and I felt like I needed to get this written down. I'm documenting this so I can remember how affected I am by the lack of sunlight in my life. I want to remember how awful I felt so I can take action to never have to feel that way ever again in the coming winters. I mean, unless we end up in Southern California or something haha